Challenges

[SewCrazy in NY]

I am the wife and friend to my high school sweetheart for over 35 years. At around age 31 while going through chemo therapy treatments, he found out he had PKD and inherited this disease from his mom. He never knew until the routine catscan showed it. He is now 57 and his kidney function is less than 20%. We both attended a kidney transplant seminar to learn the process and options. We chose to have no children long ago, so we are together often though I still work full time and he retired a few years ago. My stress is dealing with his mood swings the past many years that come and go on a whim. He functions in his daily life well, but the past few years I see him less active and doing more sedentary things at home and not wishing to spend time with others. HIs mood swings hit me to my heart core with pain by what he says to me and often they are irrational verbal statements. I support him and always will. I cannot donate my kidney but plan to see if I can match to someone else and hope that pushes my husband to the top of the list for a donation. We are not there yet in that process of donation, but starting it.
My question is: How do I keep my sanity when his moods at times are hurtful to me. I am very upbeat and caring and loving to everyone, but for the past few years he seems to be selfish of me and does not wish me to spend time with others. I am thinking he is scared and wants me close to him most of the time. At times I feel like I am suffocating and need some alone time, which I only get at my job. I love him and he knows it and I will do anything he needs with this journey, but how do I keep from losing my mind? thanks for any reply. I just found this support forum today.

[Host24 Profile]